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Bachelor Life

August 14, 2014

Dearest Wife, Lovely Companion and Mother of our Beautiful Children,

I do hope that this humble message finds you well and in good spirits. I take opportunity to write to you in earnest desire that I may somehow convey my private thoughts and feelings so that you may fully understand my position and experiences of the last several days. I have heard reports that you have been enjoying your travels and visits with friends and family in our native countryside. This pleases me and I am thankful to our Lord that this opportunity has been capitalized upon.

In your absence, I have had opportunity to unwind and enjoy evenings by myself that would otherwise be considered selfish or unseemly for a family man. During this time I have come to several conclusions that I would like to share with you now.

First of all, a box-mix cake does not make a suitable replacement for a good home-cooked meal prepared by a skillful woman. Even though the cake may be yellow, and be it even lusciously slathered in chocolate frosting. The consumption of said cake nonetheless leaves a man with an empty feeling swirled together with wistful thoughts of meals shared together in days gone by.

Second, the hilarity of wandering through the house in underwear dissipates quicker than one might suspect.

Likewise, the unbridled act of drinking milk straight from the carton is a freedom that wears on my soul.

In conclusion, I am hoping that your safe return is imminent and finds you well rested and eager to spend time with your ever faithful and loving mate. Come home to me, woman. Come home.


Your hubsbund


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