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Change, a rant

May 15, 2012

Why do manufacturers have to constantly change their product? If it works, quit fiddling with it already. The obvious is freakin’ Facebook (have you noticed the advertising column keeps getting just a smidge wider…and wider…and wider…?), but there are plenty of other examples.

Like tooth brushes. I mean really, the suckers have been around forever. If you want to improve the design, make it feel BETTER in your mouth, not worse. The little bumps on the back are really quite annoying. If I want to brush my tongue, I’ll brush it. Don’t introduce discomfort in an effort to force me into it. And you may already know my dissatisfaction with the razor blade manufacturers. Three blades, five blades, how many do we really need? Two is fine. Seriously. Hey, Gillette, quit coming up with “improvements” just so you can feed your greed. The whole personal hygiene market is rife with unnecessary change. The shelves are awash in ‘new and improved’ product that, frankly, just leave me cold. I can’t even find my favorite deodorant anymore. I’m afraid it’s been lost on the Seas of Marketing.

And automobiles. I wish I could buy a car without a gazillion air bags, traction control, anti-skid brakes and all the other gizmos that protect brainless sheeple from themselves when they’re allowed to operate a motor vehicle. It short-circuits the whole gene pool cleansing function, you know? How is the human race going to ever improve if we keep preserving the stupid ones by shielding them behind idiot-resistant technology? I jest. Sort of. Power windows? Power seats with memory? Power mirrors? No thank you. I’m lazy enough already. And I’d rather not have to spend my money on fixing it when it fails. Just give me a simple, lightweight car that handles good. It will be affordable, because it won’t be loaded with unnecessary gizmos. It will be easy to maintain, because there will be less things to go wrong. And it will be efficient, because it will be lightweight and elegant.

I’ve heard all the truisms; death and taxes, change is the only constant, etc, etc. But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it. Because I don’t.

I’m getting too old to appreciate change for change’s sake.


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